but lately ive really been struggling with insecurity. for some reason i cant shake the feeling of it.
ive been down on myself. criticizing myself. and i really dont like it when i dont wear makeup. which used to not be a problem at all.
but not, whenever i look in the mirror, i can only see things i need to change. especially in terms of working out.
i love working out for the feeling of exercise. but since ive started up again, i can only see all of my faults. and that turns into "what can i change? how quickly can i change it?" and so on and so forth.
and its not healthy at all. i dont want to get back to the place i was... i was so insecure and lacking confidence, and i dont want to go back there.
i liked the place i was at a couple of weeks ago. secure in my own skin. comfortable with who i was. i want to get here again.
but i dont know how. im praying about it a lot. hopefully, with God's help, i can get back to a place of loving my body and the way God made me.
Showing posts with label idolatry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label idolatry. Show all posts
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Thursday, October 13, 2011
idolatry
a couple of days ago, i had surgery. and today, while i was chilling and lying around trying to heal, i decided to look on websites and search around for new shoes, new clothes, new scarves, etc etc etc.
by the end of the day, i realized ive spent waaaaaaaaaaay too much time thinking about what i want instead of being grateful for what i have. and i ended up in this horrible mood.
and then i read Jesus Calling tonight.
Beware of seeing yourself through other people's eyes. There are several dangers to this practice. First of all, it is nearly impossible to discern what others actually think of you. Moreover, their views of you are variable: subject to each viewer's spiritual, emotional ad physical condition. The major problem with letting others define you is that it borders on idolatry. Your concern to please other dampens your desire to please Me, your Creator.
It is much more real to see yourself through My eyes. My gaze upon you is steady and sure, untainted by sin. Through My eyes you can see yourself as one who is deeply, eternally loved. Rest in My loving gaze, and you will recieve deep Peace. Respond to My loving Presence by worshiping Me in spirit and in truth.
Hebrews 11:6; John 4:23-24
the truth is, i feel way insecure around the new freshmen on my floor. they are so freaking cute and fashionable, and i honestly was trying to make myself "up to par" with them. i was placing their opinion-which probably doesnt even come from my appearance-even higher than my healing from surgery.
and the sad part is. i should be showing them not to go down this path. im the sophomore, the one who is older and supposed to be leading them. im supposed to be helping them discover that they are worth so much more than the clothes that they wear, the makeup thats on their faces, and the perfume they sprayed on.
God help me to be wise. help me to show these beautiful young women that YOU are whom they should look to please. boys wont please them. friends wont please them. only You can fill that desire. help me to lead these young women to You, to show them Your Love. Your beautiful, wonderful and inexplicable Love. i love you Abba. thank You so much for these young women You have placed in my life.
by the end of the day, i realized ive spent waaaaaaaaaaay too much time thinking about what i want instead of being grateful for what i have. and i ended up in this horrible mood.
and then i read Jesus Calling tonight.
Beware of seeing yourself through other people's eyes. There are several dangers to this practice. First of all, it is nearly impossible to discern what others actually think of you. Moreover, their views of you are variable: subject to each viewer's spiritual, emotional ad physical condition. The major problem with letting others define you is that it borders on idolatry. Your concern to please other dampens your desire to please Me, your Creator.
It is much more real to see yourself through My eyes. My gaze upon you is steady and sure, untainted by sin. Through My eyes you can see yourself as one who is deeply, eternally loved. Rest in My loving gaze, and you will recieve deep Peace. Respond to My loving Presence by worshiping Me in spirit and in truth.
Hebrews 11:6; John 4:23-24
the truth is, i feel way insecure around the new freshmen on my floor. they are so freaking cute and fashionable, and i honestly was trying to make myself "up to par" with them. i was placing their opinion-which probably doesnt even come from my appearance-even higher than my healing from surgery.
and the sad part is. i should be showing them not to go down this path. im the sophomore, the one who is older and supposed to be leading them. im supposed to be helping them discover that they are worth so much more than the clothes that they wear, the makeup thats on their faces, and the perfume they sprayed on.
God help me to be wise. help me to show these beautiful young women that YOU are whom they should look to please. boys wont please them. friends wont please them. only You can fill that desire. help me to lead these young women to You, to show them Your Love. Your beautiful, wonderful and inexplicable Love. i love you Abba. thank You so much for these young women You have placed in my life.
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